


The Hungry Sands Beneath Jakku

by personalphilosophie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Body Horror, Cults, Dark, F/M, Not a redemption fic, RFFA 2019, Research, Sexual Content, Why Does Everyone Want to Go Back to Jakku?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2020-11-09 01:47:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalphilosophie/pseuds/personalphilosophie
Summary: Illness with no cause, degeneration with no explanation. The Last Jedi is dying, and none of his power and tools as Supreme Leader can do anything to stop it. The true reason for her decline goes much deeper than either one of them suspects....





	1. Pursuit

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, awoke from his fitful sleep. True rest was now as fleeting as joy. He lay for a moment and tried to focus on deep breaths instead of the searing headache that never went away. It didn't work. 

So instead he groaned and pressed the call button next to his bed.

“I'd like a mug of caf, black, delivered up to my chambers along with the briefs for today's meeting,” 

His voice sounded scratchy, even to him.

“Anything else, Supreme Leader?” replied the comm.

“The usual headache capsules,”

“The doctor recommends a three day break in between last use, and my records show you’ve used the capsules four times already this w--”

“Just send them up,”

He entertained the idea of drowning in the fresher until it was time for his meeting. But judging by the shakiness of his hands, he was going to have to spend the time meditating instead. 

And judging by the itemized list of points Hux had prepared for the meeting, he would need it very badly.

***

“As you can see, at strategic points the resistance is targeting our weapons supply caravans…” Hux droned like an annoying insect. “--causing rising costs which means we will be having a budget meeting two days from now, specifically to discuss the value of switching to a different alloy--”

Kylo let his mind drift. Switching from one alloy to another didn't really concern him. Sometimes he felt it was safer if he didn't pay too much attention. Who knew what Rey could pluck from his mind in the brief moments he was asleep?

As much as he tried not to think of her, he was pulled desperately again and again to painful memories. Her warm fingertips against his palm, the way her face looked in the rain. Above all else, the anger and pain in her expression as she closed him out. How often had he imagined a different ending? Now, the dreams where he was dying seemed the best he'd ever had.

“...suggestions from our Leader about the push back from the planet Rhandayvyu?” Hux finished. All the eyes in the room turned to Kylo.

“I’ll lead a personal contingency as a show of force,” he replied. “They may know tactics on how to repel traditional forces, but a small powerful group will be harder to detect and predict,”

“A brilliant idea, Supreme Leader,” Hux’s eyes glinted noticeably. “I’ll arrange for transport immediately.”

Hux definitely wouldn’t mind if he was struck down by a stray blaster bolt. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind it much himself.

\--------------------------------------

The planet of Rhandavyu was small, but rich in minerals. Long, twisting spires dotted the landscape, and cities were built on their sides. He was already formulating battle tactics in his mind. Destroy the paths up and down the spires and wait them out. Eventually, they’d acquiesce and be rewarded with food and aid.

His plans were quickly shattered when opposing forces started firing almost as soon as they entered the atmosphere.

“Kriff, give primary controls over to me!” he barked at the trooper in the pilot seat. The soldier vacated his spot quickly. Kylo leapt over the seat and flew the ship through the blasts, dodging and weaving. 

One shot zipped dangerously close to the wing. Kylo dropped the ship down, swinging under a stony arch. The formation crumbled into dust just after they cleared, vaporized by enemy weapons. He swore and began evasive maneuvers. The radar blinked. Three pilots on their tail, plus the ground artillery. 

“Find me an area with cover,” he snapped. “We should have maps taken from the mineral surveys.”

The stormtrooper did his best, despite the frequent barrel rolls and sudden spikes in altitude Kylo took to shake off the other fighters. After what seemed like an eternity, he punched in the coordinates and Kylo flew straight there.

Things were not going to plan. He could feel the angry rush of blood in his ears as he disembarked, saber sparking. The enemy ships closed in fast, but that was no matter. He grabbed one using the force and rammed it into the other. The ships screamed as they plummeted toward the surface in a fiery inferno.

“Well,” he muttered. “So much for a stealth invasion,”

A few hours later, he had cut through a good portion of the ground troops, ashes and blood caking his footsteps. When suddenly, he stopped cold. He could feel someone in the distance.

The girl. The woman. Her presence was faint, almost like the pulse of a dying man. So that explained it. She had come here, with her friends. The pilot. The stormtrooper. Perhaps even his mother. All to fan the flames of rebellion. And it had worked. She was once again taking something so effortlessly that he had his own poured blood and sweat into achieving. Not this time. Never again.

The thread of her force signature grew stronger as he cut through the throng. It sharpened and cleared even as the smell of blood clotted in his nostrils. It led him through the cliffside town, rising higher and higher. She wasn’t running from him. That much was clear. And yet, though her signature grew clearer, it grew no stronger. Was she sleeping through the carnage, unaware? If that was the case, he was going to wake her up.

“REY,” he boomed across their bond. “I AM COMING FOR YOU,”

He sensed something from her then. Resignation. An invitation. Tinged with the slightest hint of… relief. This was a far cry from her panicked sparks that he’d received on the forests of Takodana.

His search finally led him to a small cavern carved into the rock. Meticulously carved images of stars and moons dotted the entrance, and inside he could hear the burbling of water. Kylo walked through, saber ignited. This could be a trap. Rey could be waiting around the corner, ready to strike through his heart and crow over his limp form.

“Ben.”

He turned. Rey was there, submerged in a mineral spring. She was nude, but made no attempt to hide or to prepare for a fight.

“I’m not going to attack you,” she answered weakly. “Just turn around until I can get something around me. I would like to not do this now.”

“Give me your saber first.” 

She just laughed in response. Rey struggled to stand all the way up, and despite his promise, he caught a glimpse before turning. Her ribs stood out, her skin a sickly pale shade. Curiously, she had kept her arm wraps on during the soak.

“The Resistance has been treating you well, I see.” His voice sounded bitter, even to him.

“Very,” Rey snapped. “This isn’t their fault,” 

She picked a grey robe off of the floor and wrapped it around herself. Despite his anger, he felt uneasy at her state.

“Whose fault is it then?”

“Nobody’s. I’m sick,”

“The Last Jedi, brought down by a cold?”

“Go kriff yourself, Ren,”

“Don’t have the time, I’m afraid. Very busy schedule. You’d know that if you’d accepted my offer.”

“You know why I couldn’t,” she muttered.

“It’s not too late, you know. You could come willingly. Hear me out. Maybe rethink. We have excellent medical facilities you know.”

“If I go with you, will you call a ceasefire?”

He weighed the options. A ceasefire wasn’t going to cost him much in the way of this battle. And If he could come back to it later with Rey at his side…. Well, it’d be over even faster.

“If you insist.”

-

On the way back to the First Order flagship, Rey was silent. Well, silent apart from throwing up a few times. Instinctively, he had moved to hold back her hair or rub her shoulders. Then fear stayed his hand. Rey was only accepting his offer of aid because she had no other choices. He’d ordered the vomit contained and examined. There seemed to be something…. moving in it. Maker, he hoped it wasn’t a parasite.

As soon as they were parked in the docking bay, he escorted her to the medical facility. A team of medical droids awaited. They bustled around Rey, asking question after question. She didn’t have the answers to most of them.

“Last menstrual cycle?”

“Can’t remember.”

“Innoculations?”

“I don’t think I’ve had any?”

“Exposure to any of the creatures on this list?”

And so on and so forth. Finally, the medidroid was done analyzing the blood sample.

“Patient: Rey. 

Surname: Of Jakku.

No viral, bacterial, fungal, or parasitic infestation detected. Vitals are-” and the droid began listing off a string of numbers too rapidly for him to follow.

“Supreme Leader, we’d like to keep the prisoner for observation. And in quarantine.” The head doctor tapped the stylus of her holo on the table.

“She doesn’t need to be in quarantine,” he hissed. “Furthermore, she’s not a prisoner. You’d best keep that in mind,”

He drew back the curtain by Rey’s bed. She looked nearly dead, covered in the thin white sheet from the cot.

“They didn’t find anything,” he told her. She didn’t look surprised.

“I had hoped they would, but I knew deep down this wasn’t an illness off of some backwater planet,” She laughed bitterly.

He stared, still uneasy.

“Thank you for the scan.”

He was still quiet, trying to piece together what she had said.

“What makes you think this isn’t a normal illness?”

Tears leaked from her eyes. “I… I want to show you something,” she whispered. “Something frightening. Something I didn’t even show to Finn, or Poe, or Leia… but I need to show someone before it kills me,”

For a second, he sought to assuage her fears. He would not--could not be frightened by anything she had to share after being shut out for so long. Then she took his hand and he felt his heart freeze in place. Rey guided his fingers to the top of her arm wrap. 

“Would you undo them for me? My fingers are shaking too badly.” She made a small noise halfway between a laugh and a sob.

Ben nodded and pulled the top of the fabric free. His fingertips grazed her skin, and he felt himself being drawn back to that night. The last time she had needed him, wanted him. How warm her hand had been against his. How her cheeks had glowed red from the fire and the nearness of him. Now, she needed him once more. Perhaps it was selfish of him to enjoy it. Perhaps it was pathetic that he still longed to take her in his arms, serve her in every way possible. He moved onto the other hook.

“Thank you.” She began sliding the wraps off of her arms. 

He had always wondered if underneath her arms would be as freckled as the rest of her, or if the wraps had been sufficient to shield her from the sun’s rays. He had gone back and forth on this internal debate on many sleepless nights, left alone with his imagination and fragmented glimpses of a long-abandoned future. He had not even considered the reality.

Rey’s arms were snaked and dotted with intricate black tattoos. Some of them were reminiscent of the dark side sigils he had seen sealing old Sith tombs. Others looked almost like maps of the galaxy. In between and all around were letters he couldn’t read. There was no symmetry to it, nothing aesthetically pleasing. But after a few seconds he realized what Rey was referring to. 

The tattoos were moving. Swarming. Crawling. Gliding. It was sickening to watch.

“What  _ are _ these?” His fingers hovered over her skin, but he held back from touching them out of disgust.

“They’ve always been there. I don’t remember getting them so I always thought maybe it was a tribal thing from whoever my parents were….” Rey began pulling her wraps up again. “But then they started getting darker. And then one day, I woke up in the middle of the night and they were… moving,”

“Did you find anything strange? Go into any old Sith tombs or Jedi Temples?” His eyes snapped to her face.

Rey shook her head.

His mouth felt dry, and he could taste the cold, sickly desperation on his tongue. She was hurt, perhaps even dying. If he had gone with her, even for a little while, maybe she would have had someone she trusted to talk about this. Suddenly, the words flowed out before he had time to recognize or reconsider them.

“Rey, I have a proposition for you,” he began, swallowing in an attempt to gain some composure.

“I’m not going to rule with you,” she cut in.

“No.” He clenched his fist. “I’ve… given up on that for now. But I am asking that you stay here with me.”

She was silent. 

“The First Order has resources. State of the art medbays, cutting edge technology. Extensive archives. We can figure out what this is. Together.” He reached out and touched her hand. “Please,”

Rey hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

“This doesn’t mean that I’ve joined you,” she said. “You understand that, right?”

“We’ll see.” He smirked

Rey looked up sharply; relief flooded her face when she saw his smile.

“Alright Ben, you better make this worth my while.”


	2. Possession

“Bring up bread, caf, water, some soups, and whatever you’d recommend for someone with an ill stomach.” He glanced over at Rey. “As well as some tunics, women’s small,”

She was already curled up on the bed, asleep. Hadn’t even bothered to crawl under the covers. When the food arrived, she’d probably wake up, but he wasn’t going to be around to find out. He exited the room as quietly as he could and strode down the corridor to the archives. 

“SUPREME LEADER!”

Hux was running after him, his face as violently red as his hair. Kylo groaned internally and turned to face him.

“General. You seem out of breath,”

“YOU--” Hux’s spit sprayed across the hall “HAVE BROUGHT THE JEDI ONBOARD,”

“Yes,”

“IN YOUR PERSONAL QUARTERS, NOT IN A HOLDING CELL”

“General you have a gift for presenting the obvious as though it were something revolutionary,”

“She needs to be handed over immediately to the interrogation droids so we can see what she knows,”

“No. She’s here in a civilian capacity, not as a war prisoner,”

“I see,” Hux sneered. “So now that you’re in charge, you’ve decided to keep her as your pet,”

“Not a pet. An eventual ally. You win people over better with kindness than force, General. Though finding allies has always been a weakness of yours.”

Without another word, he shoved past the general and continued on. He could hear Hux rabidly shouting after him, but paid him no mind. Getting to the archives and finding an answer as to Rey’s condition was all that mattered now.

When he settled into the archives, the first thing he did was make a comprehensive list of Rey’s symptoms. Nausea and vomiting, weight loss, persistent cough, grey skin undertones, general weakness. Results popped up immediately; Sand Fever, Dathomirian Jungle Virus, Pregnancy. He discarded the last one immediately. No matter what your symptoms or gender, that one always popped up. He entered the diseases seeming the most likely into his datapad, ordering those screenings to be done in the morning. Every time he thought he had the answer pinned down something else would cross his mind; some snippet of information she had mentioned offhand would ring alarm bells, and he’d be searching again. 

By the time he had finished researching genetic diseases that didn’t present until early adulthood, he could barely type. He cast a quick glance at the amount of tests he’d ordered. Well, the medidroid was definitely going to have its hands full. If Hux knew the full cost of the medical tests and supplies he’d ordered, the general would have an aneurysm. Maybe he’d tell him after all. 

By the time he’d finished the trek back to his quarters, he felt ready to drop dead from sheer exhaustion. Kylo found the lights still on, but the food cold and untouched. Rey was still curled up on his bed, not having moved a muscle. For a chilling moment he thought she might be dead before he moved closer

She was so frail. The weight of her sleeping form barely made a dent in his bed. Perhaps, it wasn’t his place to watch her like this. Yet this careful monitoring of Rey was the only thing he could think to do to keep from descending into panic. So as the night stretched on, he quietly sat next to her. Watching. Listening.

Once, when Ben Solo had still been alive and loved, his not-yet-distant parents had taken him on a family trip to a “puzzle planet”. Its surface was covered with holes and caverns, dizzying and disconcerting in their patterns. 

“What made all those big holes?” he’d asked from his perch on Han’s shoulders.

“Nobody knows, kiddo. Not the scientists, or Uncle Luke, or even your mommy. That’s why it’s a puzzle planet. You got any ideas?” Han reached up then and ruffled Ben’s hair.

“A big big monster! He made the holes so he can jump out and scare us!”

Leia had laughed effusively at that.

“Well Benny, if he does, I’ll keep you safe,” Han promised. “No monster is ever gonna getcha while I’m here unless it’s the tickle monster,”

And Ben had shrieked and giggled and dodged his father’s fingers.

Later that night, a storm had arisen. He remembered sitting wide-eyed, shivering in the bed of his little room; outside he could hear the rasping, screaming wind rushing in and out of the caverns. The sound had paralyzed him with fear so complete he couldn’t even scream or cry.

The ragged hiss of Rey’s breathing was the only sound that had ever surpassed it in horror.

Maker, why did she make him feel like this? Darth Vader wouldn’t have welcomed in the enemy, taken care of them and let them sleep in his bed. The Emperor would have delighted in the enfeeblement of any rival, and used the opportunity to slaughter them. But Rey… she was different. They had both seen the future, and he had thought she wanted it too.

It was pointless to dwell on the past. How often had he told himself that? So he leaned back in the chair and shut his eyes, waiting for sleep to take him.

Some time later, he was awoken by a gagging noise. He snapped up, expecting to see a fresh puddle of vomit on the floor near his feet. What he did not expect to see however, was Rey huddled over the now-cold food. She was cramming her mouth full and swallowing, over and over. She wasn’t even chewing at all, instead ripping pieces of meat or bread off with her hands. 

“Rey! Rey, what the kriff are you doing?” He ran over and grabbed her wrists. “You need to slow down, you need to chew before you choke to death!”

Tears slid down her face, mixing with the flecks of food and spit from her mouth. She swallowed and gasped for air.

“I can’t, I can’t slow down Ben,” she whispered. “Even if I eat to the point of bursting I’m still hungry. I feel so empty inside that it hurts. I spent all of my credits eating, trying to keep this-” 

She gestured to her hair-thin body.

“From happening! And it doesn’t work. A week ago I was normal and healthy!”

He was stunned. His heart pounded in his chest; his fingers shook. Kylo brushed back the hair from his face and tried to comprehend what she had just said.

“A week? All of this… in a week?”

She nodded.

He strode over to the comm and pressed a button.

“Get me a medidroid, stat.” He looked back at Rey. “This can’t wait until morning,”

\------------------------

Three days later, Ben was at a loss. Genetic testing, scans, all had turned up negative. Although they did find out she was in fact a native sSewjonian, and not a Jakkubite like she thought. The doctor had put Rey on an intravenous nutrient replacement, but nothing seemed to work. She was still skeletally thin and not gaining anything back.

He was spending another sleepless night poring over the results. Again. Each time he’d done it there seemed to be only one inevitable conclusion. Rey was going to die, and soon. The strangest symptom was something he’d never even thought possible.

“Your midichlorian counts are dropping.” He frowned. “Look, this blood test from two days ago had you at 12,000. Now you’re only at nine. I’ve never heard of anyone losing force sensitivity due to an illness before.”

He raked his fingers through his greasy, lank hair. He had barely slept, barely eaten since Rey came. As promised, he had stopped all galactic expansion and instead devoted himself fully to finding the cause of her ailment. What worried him even more he couldn’t find the courage to voice. That her signature was slowly fading with each passing hour.

“Do you think that’s why Luke won’t talk to me anymore?”

He stared at her in stunned silence.

“He used to come and give me advice in dreams. But lately he hasn’t. The last time he… visited… he wouldn’t even talk to me. He just stood there, looking sad and afraid,”

He started to ask more questions, but then the medi-droid administered some sort of medication and Rey fell asleep. The sleeping drugs didn’t take very easily, however. Often she’d wake up again a few hours later, screaming in pain and fear, about a nightmare where everything was gone except the voices of the dead.

One night, he woke to her sobbing next to him.

“I’m so hollow inside,” she muttered. “There’s nothing inside me and it can never be filled. Nothing I eat is filling, nothing… I’m just empty I’m a black hole, I--”

“Rey, Rey it’s alright.” He pulled her into his lap.

“I can’t feel the light anymore, I can’t feel anything--” she sobbed over and over like a child.

“Ben, please help me,” she begged. “I can’t take this nothingness anymore,”

He pulled her close. Rey was cold and covered in a thin shining layer of sweat. Using their bond as a guide, he swept over her skin. Touching where it hurt, being where she needed him. He rubbed small circles onto her freckled shoulders. With his other hand, he brushed the damp hair from her forehead.

“Talk to me.” Her voice slurred slightly. “I don’t…. I don’t want to fall back asleep,”

“Chewie used to let me win at dejarik,” he muttered.

She laughed, then fell into a coughing fit.

“It’s true. He always threatened to rip my arms off, but he never did,”

“He missed that shot on purpose, you know.” Rey leaned over and traced the scar on his side. “Couldn’t stand to kill you even after what you did.”

He felt his breath hitch in his throat at her touch. It brought back the same rush of feelings it had in her hut that day. Longing, and hope. Without thinking, he moved forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. To his surprise, she kissed him back. Bliss. Pure and utter bliss. For a moment he could forget that they were supposed to be enemies, supposed to kill each other. Then he pulled away, shuddering.

“Rey… I know you’re in pain, I don’t want to hurt you.” He wiped a tear from her face. “I just--”

“We’ve hurt each other before much worse than this.” Rey smiled sadly. 

She took his hand and kissed it with her cracked lips. His heart ached for her. His body ached for her. Rey reached for him again, and guided his other hand downwards. 

“I don’t want to die with regrets,” she whispered. “Please, Ben,”

He obliged. He kissed, he stroked. He fell in love with every inch of skin, every freckle. He committed it to memory, never wanting to forget. Every rapid beat of her heart under his hands was a stark reminder that for once, this was not a dream. As her body opened to him, so did her mind. Ben willingly let down his walls, and they embraced each other wholly.

There she was, all around him as though he was drowning in her. Bittersweet and lonely and wanting him. Clear and sharp as cold spring water. But underneath was a shadow. At first, it was almost indistinguishable from the deep blue of her subconscious thoughts and desires. The closer he swam though, the more he was sure that this presence did not belong to Rey.

_ And so the thief is surprised to find the master of the house awake and waiting. _

Far far away he could hear Rey saying something to him. But the sound grew dimmer and dimmer as Ben’s sight faded and his hearing was muffled by the inkiness pulling at his mind.

Tell me thief, for trespassing so on what is mine, what should I do to you?

Ben was ripped apart. He could feel every excruciating thing happening to him. His bones were all snapped in two, his blood boiled, his skin sloughed off, and his very DNA unraveled. All he could do was silently scream inside Rey’s mind. Everything he had ever felt, everything he had ever seen was rifled through in a lightning flash.

Interesting. There is a use for you as well.

The pain stopped as suddenly as it had started. Inside his brain the presence was still swarming, a horrifying sensation of pulsing, bulging worms crawling through his brain. Despite that, he clung to the sweet gap of painlessness like an escape pod.

So. You have a mind-link with my Keshmanai. This changes much, thief. I shall have you as well. Tell my Keshmanai to return to Jakku, and she shall have relief from her torment. You shall come along too. Or else you shall both perish painfully.

Ben felt numb. Going to Jakku seemed like a wise idea. Rey would stop hurting. He would stop hurting. He didn’t want them to die. They were going to go to Jakku, like the voice wanted. 

From far away he heard an agonized yell. It grew louder and louder, an ocean of anger. Suddenly in the back of his mind he realized he had heard that yell before. Rey. Snoke. The throne room. He gasped. The tight hold on his brain pulled loose, and with a great wave of vertigo he found himself on his bed again. 

Rey collapsed onto his chest in tears, saying his name over and over and over. Stunned, all he could do was sit there and stroke her hair. 

“You pulled me out,” he murmured. 

“You just….” she sobbed. “Disappeared… I tried to force you out but I wasn’t strong enough, had to wait until you realized. It almost didn’t let you go,”

“Could you hear what was happening?”

“I think I know why,”

He tucked his hand under her chin, bringing her gaze up to meet his.   
“Rey, there’s something inside you. I think it’s always been there. And now it’s awake.”

She began to tremble uncontrollably. 

“Do you have any idea what it is?”

Rey shook her head. Then she frowned, and reached up to stroke his forehead.

“Ben… your hair’s gone silver,”


	3. Prophecy

“I refuse,”

“It’s the only logical thing to do,” 

“I won’t let you,”

“Your idea will get us both killed,” Ben argued. “It’s safer to just destroy the whole thing without getting close.”

Rey crossed her arms, and attempted to look as imposing as someone sitting in a bath could.

“I cannot allow you to blow up the entire planet of Jakku. As awful as that place is, there are thousands of innocent people living there. And you agreed that as long as I was here--”

“Rey. We can’t go down there. That’s what it wants. I am begging you to let me give the order. Let me solve this problem for you, let me do this one thing,” he cut her off and begged.

She set her mouth into a thin line.

“I can’t do that Ben,” she argued. “But I am going back to Jakku, whether you come or not. It’s where everything started for me,”

“And if you go back, it’ll be where everything ends, too! How convenient,” he snarked. 

“Ben, please,” she pleaded. “I know that I’m dying. And you know it too. But if we can go there we may be able to fix this,”

He ran his hand through his hair.

“If I don’t go with you, you’re definitely going to die alone in the desert somewhere. If I do, we might both die. It’s a very difficult decision for me,”

“Please be serious.”

“I am serious, Rey. From my point of view, there’s no winning in this situation unless I blow that whole kriffing planet into space dust.”

“Unless we fight it together, and win.”

“What will you do if I refuse?”

“Hijack a ship, go to Jakku, die terribly in the desert, and then haunt you for the rest of your life.”

He stroked her cheek for a moment, then sighed. 

“If I come with you, and we find that this thing can’t be destroyed or weakened, I’m blowing up the planet.”

“You won’t have to. I know we can do it together,”

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll go. But I’m not happy about it,”

\----------------------------

Jakku in the day was even more of a hellhole than at night. He’d opted to leave the mask behind, but go about with his hood up. From the moment they landed, all sorts of unsavory people had been following them.

“Rey, I don’t like this.”

“Hmm?”

She turned around. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes danced. The change had been almost instantaneous. Ben, however, found this even more unsettling than if she had collapsed. She stood bareheaded, not even covering herself with a cloak. Instead she’d chosen sandals and a light shift.

“I’m sorry, the sunlight just feels so good. Most of the Resistance Bases are underground, and then I’ve been in space for so long…” Rey gave a soft sigh.

‘Don’t push yourself too much,” he reminded her. “Are you sure you’re fine with walking? I can gather information if you need to rest.”

“Do you know any of the local customs?”

“No.”

“Do you speak Teedo?”

“You’ve been in my head, you know all I can speak is basic, droid, and Shyriiwook,” he muttered.

“Then how do you propose to charm the locals into giving us the information we need, without taking us out into the desert and tanning our hides for waterskins?”

“I can just reach into--”

“NO, you are not doing any probing while we are here!”

“Ma’am please,” the owner of _ Families 4 Rent and Sale _ objected. “This is a child-friendly business, and my customers do not need to hear about your personal life.”

Rey let loose a colorful string of expletives about the man and what wholesome family activities he could partake in with his droids. The man was cowed enough that he ushered them both into his back office and supplied a map of settlements where he’d acquired his chattel. 

“What’s over there?”

Kylo pointed to a large blank circle where nothing was filled in.

“Dunno for sure. Stay away from out there typically. Start getting thick patches of sinking sand. Lost more than a few speeders trying to find out. People say there’s some sort of soul-stealing monster what lives there. I think it’s a myth, ”

  
  


Things had been relatively calm on the flight there. Until Rey began pacing. And pacing. When they got to the place the man had told them about, Rey ran out onto the sand and began stripping off her clothes and yelling something he couldn’t understand. He rushed out after her and yelled for her to stop. Then in the distance, he saw a massive cloud of dust rising with the inflection of her voice. 

“Rey… Rey STOP!” he yelled and dove towards her. She turned. Her eyes had gone black.

Her body hit the sand underneath him, and she pulsed and writhed like a live wire. The sand stung his face mercilessly, but Rey was safe and solid beneath him. There was nothing to do except wait for her sandstorm to pass.

The grains blew into his ears, his hair, settling into every microscopic nook and cranny they could crawl into. It felt as though he were covered in a horde of stinging, biting insects. Rey was eerily quiet beneath him. He felt a jolt of fear.

“Rey?” he called loudly, risking the sand in his throat.

No response. He felt her thin form pressed against his chest, the ever so slight rise and fall of her chest. Ben squeezed her tightly, and tried to call through the bond.

“Rey, can you hear me?”

A small buzzing affirmative nudged back against him. He lay there in relief as the sand entombed them.

He seemed to slumber for a while, lulled by the muffled wind and the ever-increasing weight of sand upon his back. The headache began again in earnest, and his lungs seemed unable to fully inflate. Rey was still beneath him, and he grasped onto the image of her safe and free from troubles. Yet, the storm raged on. He lapsed again into unawareness, time passing by.

When he next became aware of himself, it was due to a strange sensation. Rey was sinking into the sand. He was sinking after her. Ben cried out, his mouth full of sand. With great effort, he pushed his arms deeper and deeper until he could wrap them around her waist. His heart was pounding, his lungs seemed ready to burst. But he wasn’t going to let go. He wasn’t going to let go.


	4. Purchase

His head felt like it had been split open. Groaning, he sat up and reached around for Rey. She was a few feet away from him, and he felt relief flood his veins. The space around them was pitch black and still. Not even the faintest ghost of a breeze stirred the air. He nudged her awake.

“Rey. Wake up, I’ve got a bad feeling about this,”

She blinked her eyes open, then shot up with a start.

“You’re right,” she said dryly and ignited her saber.

Her eyes reflected the beam, more alive and fiery than he had seen them in ages. The sight gave him hope. He stood and readied his saber alongside her. Great plumes of fire erupted all around them, trapping them close together. 

“Welcome home, Keshmanai.”

They turned, and found themselves being watched by thousands of pairs of eyes. Rey stiffened beside him.

“He has forgiven you for your abandonment. You were obedient, and returned.”

“Abandonment?” Rey yelled. “I didn’t leave anyone!”

“You will see soon. You were special, you were selected by Him to be his vessel. And he has chastised thee, but you returned.”

“She’s not here to be ordered around. We’re here to kill whatever’s inside of her,” Kylo said as he brandished his saber.

The man who had spoken walked down the stairs of the altar. His face glowed red in the light of the fires, his shadow stretching and writhing with every step. In his hand, he held a long dull black knife.

“And this is the one you have found.” The man stared, unblinking. “He is pleased. Perhaps after tonight, He will finally amass enough strength to gain physical form. Then, he shall rule as the God that he is.”

“What do you mean?” Rey’s voice rose. “He has nothing to do with this, he doesn’t have any of the marks--”

“The two of you are tied with a thread. To take one and not the other is foolishness. Do not despair of separation, you will both become one with Him.”

“No.” Rey shook her head. “You’re not getting either of us.”

“Keshmanai, we have already had you for almost your whole life. You are achieving immortality. He is inevitable.”

Rey looked over at Kylo then. Right before it happened, he saw the idea in her mind. There wasn’t enough time to prepare for what she was going to do. The force bond pulled apart. Slowly, painfully. On both ends, their minds strained to stay connected, holding on and on as long as possible. For one brief hopeful moment he thought that it would hold, then it snapped and he was sent reeling.

He thought that being tortured by the thing living in Rey had been painful, that it could never be topped by any other sensation. He was wrong. This was utter isolation, half of his soul seeping from a wound he could not see. Behind him, Rey was sobbing.

“I did it…” she cried. “They can’t… can’t use you. We’ll fix it later, we just have to…”

“Enough. The time He has ordained is now upon us,” the man held the knife aloft. “With this shedding of blood, we call you to feed,  _ Jakku! _ ”

The notes of his voice reverberated around the chamber. The other cultists echoed his cry. All at once they sliced open their palms, the dripping of the blood echoing and echoing. Kylo watched in horror as the shadows dancing on the walls slowly slid together and condensed.

Jakku was awake at last.

_ Keshmanai. You have defied me in your last moments. I will not forget it. _

The cultists all turned and chanted along with that voice. He felt the primal urge to flee, to press his hands against his ears and wail. But he stood still. He dared not breathe.

_ You have suffered greatly. More than any of my chosen vessels before. Alone. Unwanted. Starved and lost in the darkness. These things have brought you close to me. Perhaps at last, I shall be complete. I shall have one who has suffered as I have suffered. One who understands.  _

“Don’t take her,” Ben whispered. “You don’t understand,”

Rey shot him a fearful glance.

“You think you understand her. Because you plucked her from her home and made her an unwitting host? Let her go free. If you understood her you’d know she doesn’t want this. I’m begging you.”

Jakku made what may have been a laugh, if it was ever capable of joy.

_ Why do you wish her free? Because you love her, desire her, feel incomplete without her? I have felt these things with the million dead hearts that reside within me. With every desert wind that caressed her as she slept, I comforted her. I was here before you, Ben Solo, and I will be here long after she has forgotten your name _

Perhaps it was true. Maybe she would forget someday. But being forgotten would be a small price if it meant she lived to do so. And so he stood back up. 

“Rey,”

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. 

“Rey. That day in the elevator, we saw the same thing. And we wanted it. I’m sorry I didn’t make the sacrifices necessary to give you that future. But I can at least give you one,”

As he concentrated on the seams of the temple, pushing, pulling, weakening it however he could, he felt a hand clasp onto his shoulder. Ben did not turn around. Han’s grip was joined by others. A prosthetic, and a smaller one he instinctively felt belonged to a woman. Rey seemed to be screaming at him to stop, as did Jakku itself. The cultists rushed him, but Ben pressed on. Jakku grabbed hold of him, and the instant the horrible thing’s tendrils reached him, images flashed before him, drifting away like fabric scraps in the wind. 

He wasn’t quite sure what had drawn him to the slovenly little beggar family, but it was a stroke of good fortune. There were three of them. A man, a woman, and a girl. 

“Hello.” He smiled wide at the child. “What’s your name?”

She shrank away from him, wide-eyed.

“The kriff you talkin to ’er for?” the girl’s mother spat into the sand. “She don’t open ‘er mouth.”

“You’re right,” he apologized, still bearing the same broad smile. “I should really be talking to you.”

The man next to her let out a drunken snore.

“Go on.”

He took a closer look before speaking again. The mother was square-jawed with lank brown hair. Less teeth than a two credit comb. Her eyes were sunken in with hunger and red due to drink. Yet, the most noticeable feature was her swollen, pregnant belly. 

“You have something of great value to me,” he began.

“We didn’t steal nuthin from you!” she screeched, eyes wide with fear. 

Eager to keep her from attracting any attention, he knelt and placed a finger to her lips.

“My dear woman, I’m not accusing you of theft. I’m making you an offer;”

From the folds of his cloak he produced a credit chip. He pressed it into her hand and watched her squint to read the lettering. Five hundred. He had more, much more at his disposal if that’s what it took.

“It’s a gift,” he offered. “In exchange for your time, and for listening to what I have to say,”

“‘s fake!” she threw it back in his face. “Credits don’ go that kriffin’ high,”

“You’re right. It was a test,” he lied. “And you passed.”

“What do you want?” she hissed, elbowing the man next to her awake. He groaned, still clutching an empty drink in his hand.

This was not going as easily as expected. Perhaps he should have chosen one of the other families. But no, something had guided him here. This was the will of Jakku. 

“I already told you I’m here to make you an offer,” he tried hard to keep his tone even and soothing. Comforting. Placid and unthreatening. 

“Go ahead,” the father spoke for the first time. “Ain’t had work in ages. Neither of us.”

“Oh no. You won’t be required to do anything for me. I just want to ease your burdens a little.”

“How you gonna do that?” the woman’s gaze was sharper than the man’s. More wary. 

“I would like to take care of your little girl for you.” he smiled. “We could give her lots of opportunities. You would be compensated of course and-”

“Opportunities? Fer Rey?” the man burped. “She’s four. The kriff kinda opportunities are there for a younglin like ‘er?”

“Hush up, Nid.” the woman snapped. “Are you a Jedi?”

She’d come close to the truth. In a way. From a certain point of view.

“What makes you ask that?” he said with a benign smile.

“Had an uncle,” she muttered. “Back when we lived on a diff’rent place. Jedi took him when he was a baby. Ma’s ma never stopped cryin’ bout it. ‘S Rey gonna be a jedi?”

“No she isn’t,” he said, correcting her. “We’re just looking to give your daughter an opportunity for a greater purpose.”

“Reddaaaaa…” drawled the man. “Who gives a damn? Can’t feed her no good anyhow. We’re havin’ another one anyhow. One we can raise up right if this guy pays good. What’s better? Two starvin kids an’ us starvin and dried up with em, or givin’ ‘er a happy place with the man and bein’ rich?”

Redda didn’t answer. She tucked Rey a little more behind her. Some atrophied maternal instinct must have stirred within her. There was a conflict about her.That was fine. He had time. He could wait for the dust to settle. 

“Would you like a drink? This heat makes one thirst terribly,” he reached into the same pocket as before and pulled out a flask. 

He watched Redda as he did so. Her eyes took on a greedy gleam. Had she been denying herself for the sake of the unborn child? Or else a victim of Nid’s refusal to share when one was down to the last drops?

“Water?” the child spoke for the first time.

“Hush up, Rey, what do I keep tellin you?” snapped Redda. “What is it?”

“Corellian brandy. Doesn’t it smell divine? I always keep a little on hand,” he winked and handed over the flask to Redda. “It’s a vice of mine.”

“When do we gotta give you an answer?” she sipped quietly, savoring it.

“Oh. I would like to be on my way by sunset.” he responded. “Make sure you let your husband try. It’s a delicacy.”

She quietly passed over the flask. Nid began gulping. 

His smile was genuine now. 

“We’ll need t’ talk about it,” she said.

“Of course. It’s a big decision. You can keep the brandy, if you wish. Since you saw through my little test earlier. I hope there are no hard feelings?”

“None,” burped Nid.

“Good.” he knelt and extended a hand towards the girl. “I hope I will get to know you much better soon, Rey.”

She smiled uncertainly, but did not reach for him. 

‘No matter,’ he thought. ‘I'll be back to collect you when the poison takes effect.’

\---------------------------------

  
  


“She won’t stop crying for her mother,” the matron whispered to the master of ceremonies. “She seems to have a natural resistance to the wipe-drug we gave her.”

The master of ceremonies looked down at the woman, prostrated on the ground and trembling with fear.

“His essence shall not be poured into a half-full vessel. You must give her more until the crying stops,”

“It shall be done.” She hesitated for a moment or two and continued cautiously. “But what if there are effects? A cracked vessel is equally as ill-fitting,”

“I will not be questioned. If she shatters, we shall find another. You have an infant son, I believe?”

The matron stiffened. 

“What an honor it would be for you,” he continued. “If he were chosen in her stead,”

“Y-yes. All mothers who swear allegiance hope and pray for such a blessing,” she whispered. “But perhaps there will be no ill-effects. Perhaps, I was overly anxious about making things the best for Him.

“Where’s mummy?” Rey sniffed. “It’s cold in here and it smells bad and I miss her a lot.”

The matron gathered the crying child into her arms, cooing reassurances. 

“Here, Rey, drink this and I’ll give you the good news. That’s a sweet girl,” she held the mug up to the girl’s lips. Rey took it and drank greedily, pausing every once in a while to give a hiccuping sob or to rub at her eyes with a grubby little hand.

“Now, blow your nose,” the matron ordered. Ever obedient, Rey honked into the handkerchief.

“That’s much better, isn’t it? So tell me why you were crying so hard.”

The girl looked at her, her small brow furrowed. Then it slowly unraveled. 

“My mummy, right?” A sigh of relief fell from the matron’s lips. Thanks be to His whims, sweet oblivion had started to come upon the child at last. 

Her fragile victory did not last long. As soon as she had mentally given thanks, Rey’s face began to crumble; the once questioning eyes now filled again with tears.

“Wheeeere is she?” Rey slurred

“She’s coming back soon for you, sweetheart, I promise,” the Matron said in a placating tone. “Mummy said to just be a good girl and wait and she’ll be back soon,”

*******

“Blood and sand, night sky and thine own essence, bone of Keshmanai before. Oh come forth, Lord of Sand, Devourer of Life and Drowner of Stars,” intoned the Ritual Master.

He lifted the earthen vessel above his head and began splashing the blood within onto the pile of sand. His own was in there somewhere. Everyone had contributed. Next, his acolyte passed him a spoon. It had been carefully shaped and polished from the breastbone of the previous Keshmanai over the course of their fifteen years of waiting. He stirred the mixture together, then carefully began to spoon the dark russet liquid into the basin. With each new drop, it blackened the water, obscuring the stars reflected therein. The mixture began to bubble violently.

_ He _ was pleased with them.

“We call to thee. Accept this vessel, empty for you, so that you may live and walk through her. See through her eyes, eat with her mouth, call her to be part of you. Blessed is this Keshmanai, chosen one of Jakku!”

The girl’s body lay limp and pale upon the altar. Beside her prone form was a jet-black knife. Stained with years upon years of ritual marking, it seemed to ripple and shift in the darkness. The master of ceremonies lifted it by the handle. He immersed the blade up to the hilt in the bubbling pool and waited. One by one, the bubbles calmed and stilled. Then he lifted the blade again. As he withdrew it from the liquid, the basin began to drain. 

“Mark her as your own, and when the time is right, reveal these signs unto us, so we may send her to join with you,” he chanted. At the close of the chant, he dropped the dagger directly onto the girl.

It disappeared into her. For a moment she lay unchanged, pallid and deathlike. Then the darkness spread across her veins. It swam through her body, then finally curled into designs on her arms. They all watched in silence as the designs pulsed for a moment, then stilled and faded to a pale grey. 

All at once they raised their arms, becoming one voice.

_ Let her be lean _

_ Let her be hungry _

_ Let her die alone in the sands _

_ Keshmanai _

_ Go forth and live so He may live _

With that, the ceremony was over. He gestured to the Matron, her face stiff and taut. Her final duty was to deliver the child to a contact of his. Unkar Plutt could be trusted to keep the girl alive, at least. She would live as one with the desert until she was called. He watched the Matron stoop to pick up the child, flanked by the man who would fly them to Niima. After her reluctance, he wanted her watched until the dropoff. 

‘'Farewell Keshmanai,’ he thought. ‘We shall meet again on the hour of your death,’


	5. Promise

Everything hurt. He coughed, and blinked the blood from his eyes. Rey was next to him, just as grimey as the day he had first seen her. The effort it took to raise his hand to touch her seemed harder than anything he had ever done before. She grasped it, and raised it to her lips in a brief kiss.

“Ben, Ben, you got them. I couldn’t find you at first and I walked around calling for you and I didn’t see anyone… But it’s alright I have you now. Can you stand? We can get out of here for good, please Ben.”

“What about… That thing. Is it gone? Now that they’re all…”

Rey shook her head.

“It’s weak, but not gone. Ben, don’t worry about that. I’m stronger now that we’re on Jakku, now that I’m close to it. I’ll be able to destroy it, I just need you to hold on,  _ please _ ,”

“Rey,”

He focused very hard. Thinking was almost too much now. Behind Rey, he could see them: his father, Uncle Luke, and a young couple were waiting for him. It wouldn’t be long now and he had to say it.

“Always… Trying to save me. Didn’t deserve all the chances you gave… Save yourself this time,”

“Ben, don’t go! Ben, please I never told you--”

He pressed a finger to her lips.

“It’s alright. I know. I will wait for you… forever,”

With that, Ben Solo slipped away into the awaiting arms of his family. 

\-------------------------------

He wasn’t gone. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t have died, he couldn’t have left her alone to face this, she needed him, she was alone now truly alone in the dust in the rubble weakened with no power he couldn’t have done this Ben come back come back come back I love you

\-------------------------------

The fear and sadness led to anger. The anger transformed into hate. Rey stood up, and looked upon the creature; finally she saw it for what it truly was. Jakku was lonely and selfish, merely an entity and the souls it had been pilfering for millennia. She spoke measured and low.

“I do not know how you convinced the first person to begin worshipping you, but it is  _ over.  _ I am going to free all the people you have stolen, and then I am going to end you,”

Jakku welled up in size, and screamed.

_ You left us, you abandoned us and the purpose we ordained for you _

Jakku kept screaming and rushed, swallowing her up like a great black wave. Rey closed her eyes and reached out with the Force. She could feel them all around her: the junk traders, the mothers, the fathers, the loved and the unloved. Their faces, their lives, their deaths. She saw it all.

‘Please,” she heard a voice whisper “Start with me,”

A girl held out her hand. She was even younger than Rey. Her grey eyes stared, unblinking and full of sorrow. Instinctively Rey knew she had been the first one taken. As soon as she grasped onto her hand, the web of souls began to unravel. Rey pulled and pulled with all her might, and felt the spirits tear free and disappear. There seemed to be hundreds of them swarming around her begging for release. At last, it was only her and Jakku. It seemed small, insignificant. But she couldn’t leave it, or the creature would start again.

“Why wasn’t it enough for you?”

_ I was alone. _

“I was alone, he was alone too. You made everyone you touched feel alone and unloved so you could hoard them to yourself.” She raised her lightsaber. “That isn’t companionship, that isn’t loneliness. That was selfishness and greed. You’re nothing more than a parasite, Jakku. And I won’t let you take anyone else!”

With a primal scream of anger and loss and pain, Rey stabbed deep into the middle of the creature. She expected it to bleed, or to crack and shatter like stone. Instead it burned. It burned and burned until nothing was left, and Rey was left alone under the night skies. 

Nothing in her life seemed heavier than the body of Ben Solo. But she was determined he would have a resting place other than this desert tomb. She took the ship back to the Resistance. She mourned with Leia alone. Nobody else truly understood what had been lost. And in the morning she departed for Ahch-To, with instructions for the Resistance to send on any Force-sensitive people they found to her.

\---------------------------------------------

Rey woke up to another sunrise. The birds were singing. She got out of bed, her feet cringing against the cold stone floor. She did her morning meditations, the training exercises, and ate breakfast. Her garden was coming along nicely. In the early light, her shadow was twinned. 

By midday, she finished her gardening and any repairs to the droids that shared her household. Then she usually commed with Finn’s daughter Posie. Now a bright young girl of about twenty-five, she was running for senator, campaigning on a platform of tracking down former First Order leaders and putting them on trial.

After that checkup, she usually wandered down to the Caretaker village. The walk was getting harder. She began to empathize with Luke a little, though she was older now than he had ever been. Certainly, she was a lot busier. A few times a year, a young Force sensitive would appear on her doorstep. A growing collection of padawans now lived in the village. She had insisted on that. It was good for them to form connections with each other, instead of holding her up as an unattainable ideal.

She taught lessons in the evening. Meditation, lightsaber forms. How to recognize manipulation and possession. The basics. She used to teach survival skills, but that was getting hard to do. She’d passed on the duties to Sola. Regardless of how busy the day was though, she always made it back to her cottage on the hill before nightfall. 

Nightfall was when his presence was strongest. Whether it was in the cool breeze through the window, or a shadow slightly darker than the rest of the room, he made his presence known. Ben was never insistent, never a full-flickering force ghost. Sometimes she wondered if it was like the phantom pains amputees felt from a missing limb. Perhaps he wasn’t really there, and she just missed him. She hoped he was proud. His sacrifice had saved others, not just her. The little village of Force users, ranging in all shades of dark and light, was thriving.

She’d made sure the next generation of leaders was ready. They’d been taught about the mistakes of systems past and how to forgive themselves and each other. Rey knew her time was waning. But she didn’t fear it. Death was merely the door to that lost opportunity. Those words she could have said so many times. In the throne room. In the hut. In his bed. Or even when he was dying in her arms. But she hadn’t taken those chances, always believing that there’d be a better time, or a better Ben. The end never comes after everything is neatly resolved. Hearts keep beating long after they’ve broken beyond repair.

Someday soon she would see her Ben again. And she’d finally get to say those words she’d longed to say a million times. Sometimes she suspected that’s what life after would consist of for her: telling him that she loved him over and over and over. If that was it, she considered it paradise.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! If you have theories leave a comment. This has been my first reylo fanfic since the very first RFFA, and I had a lot of doubts about it, but hopefully you guys enjoy the mystery and horror.


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